Smile.

Smiling was the best way to go about this and it was the normal person thing to do.

Right?

And it was what she did, even when they all walked in chattering and smiling. Even when that girl absolutely refused to let go of Kouga's arm. Kagome had made her way downstairs after she had watched everyone heading for the door. She was not doing it because she was jealous and because she wanted to keep an eye on thing. She was simply doing it because - it was the polite thing to do. People were coming in and she was part of the pack…and she was to be part of the greeting team.

Right?

"You know we can smell ya right?"

"What?"

Yumi chuckled. "Your jealousy is showing."

"I'm not jealous."

"Then why do you look like you're going to rip her head off?"

She did not. After all, she did not even know the girl. She could be a long time friend or - a family member. What did she know? And she trusted Kouga. Why would she not trust him. He had pledged himself to her over and over again. There was no reason to be worried about anything and -

Oh god, she did know that girl.

It had not been obvious at first, especially since she had focused more on the girl's actions than her face. Now that she was getting a good look at her it was all coming; the green eyes, the red hair. Ayame. The girl who had hated her for stealing Kouga away. And that was back when there was nothing going on between the two of them. And why in the world were they so familiar now? She remembered Kouga saying that - hm, he was not interested in her, that she was an annoying girl and yet now she was hanging on to his arm like a bride to be. What had happened during those five hundred years? Did they actually give it a try?

Oh god were they exes?

"And, I'm sure you remember Kagome."

The sound of Kouga's voice brought her back to reality. She had missed the beginning of his sentence but she had clearly heard the rest. Why - why was he talking to her? Why was he re-introducing her? And most of all, why was he not moving away from her and her clutches?

"Kagome?" Ayame frowned and twisted her head to the side, forcing her long mane of her hair to sway to the side. "Weren't you human?"

"It's a long story," Kouga said with a chuckle.

"And why are you here?"

Kagome wanted to speak - she really did. But the words were not coming out. She was dumbfound as she stared at the she wolf who was clearly waiting for an answer - and answer she was probably not going to like.

"She's Kouga's intended," Ginta finally provided as he gestured to Kagome's neck. He knew Kouga and Kagome would probably be displeased that he brought that situation back up but he had no other choice. It was hard to ignore the vibe coming from Kagome. The newcomers might not notice it but that was only because they were no familiar with Kagome's gentle nature. Because they were so used to her and her aura, they could really tell that something was going on.

He had to help her.

Ayame's mouth opened then closed and finally she decided to settle on a smile. "That's great. Finally."

Although her words were supposed to be joyful, Kagome could not hear the actual happiness behind her words. "Thank you," was all Kagome managed to whisper out.

Kouga popped his lips as his gaze traveled from Kouga to Ginta. That was not his Kagome. There was a weird vibe in her aura, one that caused him to frown. He looked at Ginta for answers but the other youkai just stared at Ayame. Ayame. Oh - wait. Kagome was in a bad mood because of her?

"So, you two are friends now?" Kagome finally managed to utter.

"Well you know," Ayame said as she squeezed Kouga's arm a little tighter, "the last of us have to hang together."

Yep. He was definitively in the middle of something. Although he was not quite sure why he found himself in this situation. Did he not tell Kagome that she was the only one? That wolves mated for life? He had even left a mark on her. She could not possibly doubt his feelings for her.

Shyly, Kagome reached out for Kouga's hand and slowly intertwined their fingers. Her motion forced Kouga closer to her which meant the grip Ayame had on him had to loosen up. At first it did not but after he tugged a bit, she finally let go of his arm and Kagome felt a wave of relief wash over her. She was a horrible person was she not? Why was she feeling this horrible emotion in the pit of her stomach? How could she not control herself like this? Kouga was nothing more than trustworthy and she should believe in him. He never hurt her. At least not purposefully.

"Alright, food time," screamed someone out of her sight. "Everybody in the kitchen."

For the first time, Ayame walked past them, although she did look back. As the living room was emptying out, the wolves rushing to the meal, Kouga took advantage of the opportunity. He leaned in closer to Kagome and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "Are you okay?" He did not want to flat out come out and accuse her of anything. He decided the safe, subtle route was much better.

"Yes, I am."

"Kagome…" She was not fooling him.

"I-" She could not say it, she could not admit what she felt. "I just, you know. Last time I saw her, she disliked me and she was out for my head. I missed the whole, you guys became friend back you know. Adjustment. And with everything that happened, I'm a little jumpy." God, she was using Izu to back up her lie. What kind of horrible person had she turned into?

That did make more sense than a jealousy fit. "Don't worry. Ayame has grown up since then."

"I see that," she said as she followed him into the kitchen.

Did she grow up to be an understanding person or just a sneakier bitch?

-U-

And it was time to celebrate.

Because so may wolves were reunited, it seemed that the natural progression to the reunion was to celebrate. Beers were brought out and suddenly, everyone was gathering and drinking. She had forgotten how loud a pack of wolves could be - not that it was a bad thing. At some point during the night she had somewhat lost track of Kouga. She did not want to be the annoying girlfriend hanging by his side at all time. After all, she had just convinced him that she was not jealous. And truly she did not want to be jealous. Why should she be? She experienced that emotion in the past when it came to Kikyo and Inuyasha and she did not like it.

Except this time was different. Kouga never made her feel like she came in second.

So she could trust him and she could let him chat up with the other pack and do whatever it was he had to do as a pack leader. And Ayame should not be able to ruin them or her mood. It was fine, everything was fine.

Also, why could she not spot that girl's red hair. It should not be that hard to see in a sea of brown and black. And yet, Ayame felt nowhere to be found.

"Hey sis."

She jumped at the sound of Ginta's voice and was startled, like she had been caught doing something she was not supposed to be doing. "Hey."

"You shouldn't worry so much."

"I'm not worried." God, why did everyone have to ask. It made her feelings even more embarrassing; she felt like an idiot just fine on her own. She did not need other people to remind her she was an idiot.

It also did not help that the last conversations she had with Kouga or the girls involved mating - and bonding forever. They all seemed to think that as a human, it would take a while for her to grasp the concept. And Kouga. He had simply said that it was not big deal, almost like it meant nothing. But it had to mean something or he would not have done. There was a lot he held back on - for her sake. And she just - what if he was reminded that he did not have to hold back so much. She was so much younger compared to him and there was so much she had yet to experience. Him on the other hand, he had seen it all and lived through it all.

What if she became too complicated and what if it was not worth it in the end?

He held on to what she used to be and maybe he was not seeing what she was now.

What if someone else could show him that it would all be easier, that it should be easier?

And why in the world was she worrying herself with things like these?

"You frown an awful lot for someone who isn't worried."

"Why is she so touchy feeling with him?"

She did not understand the past and the history behind them. How did they go from what she had last seen to what they were now? It did not make sense to her. Kouga was a friendly person and she had missed a lot of the wolves' history but it still did not add up for her.

"She tried to get with him for a long time," he confirmed. "To her that promise meant everything."

She had seen that; she had almost been ready to kill Kagome over it. Although she could understand the dream Ayame was holding on to, she also thought that perhaps she should have understood that it was a long time ago, that it was a silly promise and nothing more.

"But she eventually understood that he wasn't interested in her that way. Afterwards, they became friends."

Did Ayame really understand that it was never going to go anywhere or did she play the friendship card? Kagome had chosen to be Inuyasha's friend but it did not mean that she did not have any feelings for him. She did. It was just that it was her only option at the time. Then again, right now, Kagome was being an awful person; she was judging someone she knew nothing about. She had been young once, she had been stupid as well. Her love for Inuyasha had been a stupid decision and she made it anyway. Maybe she needed to give Ayame a chance. Maybe she needed to get to know her before making up her mind about her.

"That's good."

Ginta laughed. "You don't act like you think it's good." He shook his head. "Wolves are just very touchy. You must have noticed."

She did.

"It's fine. Trust me, Kouga only has eyes for you."

"I know." And yet there was this part of her that wanted everyone to know he was hers.

Unconsciously, she brought a hand to her neck and began rubbing the mark he had left behind. Her action made Ginta raise an eyebrow. Usually the mating mark caused people to be influenced by the other's traits. He did not know how well that bond passed through two people when it was just an intended mark. Maybe Kouga's temper was flowing through Kagome, fuelling her fears.

Kagome popped her lips before offering Ginta a smile. "You know what, you're right. I should probably apologize for earlier." She did feel bad; that was not a lie. She took a deep breath and walked away from Ginta with the intention of finding Ayame.

She moved through the crowd, smiling back at the people who smiled at her. Obviously they knew who she was; if Kouga had not mention it then, they could clearly smell him on her and that give it all away. It made her a little embarrassed that everyone here could not know everything about her by simply smelling her but it was something she had to get used to - and she was going to. Finally, she located a mass of red hair and smiled a little as she headed towards Ayame.

Except, she then stopped dead in her tracks. Ayame was standing beside Kouga. He was talking to some other people and she was staring right at him. There was something in her eyes; it was like he was her world, like he was her everything. She drank in every word he said and every once in a while, she would slightly bump into him, closing the distance between them. Kagome froze, her blood like ice. Her grip on her beer tightened and she forced herself to completely finish it. Four beers. That was not too many. She dropped it down on the nearest table and re-focused her attention on the redhead in front of her.

Oh god, she was about to do something stupid.

She was about to do something stupid and there was nobody around to stop her.

Really, she should just join them - or walk away. But somehow she felt like she could do neither. She needed to take a deep breath and she needed to think about what she was about to do.

But she could not think; she could only be insecure. She had a talk with Kouga about her insecurities, where she had told him not to leave, where she had asked him to stay. She even said they could be friends if it did not work out. He had put these worries to rest; how come they were swirling inside of her chest at that very moment? It was bad timing. She felt like she could not understand him, as if she could not offer him everything he could have another youkai - and then Ayame showed up.

Why was her life a series of bad timing?

Why could it not be easy and simple? Why couldn't things simply work out?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She held on to the courage given to her by the beer and she launched herself forward. Before anybody could realize what was happening, she had taken hold of Kouga's hand and she began dragging him away. She dragged him up the stairs, she dragged him into the hall way. Her tug was so powerful that he even dropped his beer to the ground, causing a mess. But none of that caused her to stop in her steps. If she stopped, if she took a moment to think she would coward away from this - and she could not do that.

Kagome could hear Kouga trying to say something but she was blocking all of his words, making sure she could not hear any of it. She was deafened by the sound of her own heartbeat. After what felt like forever, they finally reached his bedroom. She swung the door opened and then flip right back around, closing it with the weight of their bodies. Again, taking advantage of his current confusion, she slammed her lips upon his, capturing his mouth into a passionate kiss. She let her hands roam free across his body, feeling every inch of his hard muscles beneath her fingertips. She moaned in his mouth while he finally pressed his body to hers.

The taste of her was heavenly, and it felt like it had been forever, but he knew he had to push her away. He had to right? "W-wait," he whispered against her lips.

"It's fine," she replied as she kept peppering the length of his jaw with her lips.

"Kagome…"

She was making it hard to be a nice boyfriend at the moment. He wanted to wrap his arms around her waist and then push her down on the bed. He wanted to comfortably lay between her legs and feel her warm core pressed to him. It frustrated him that their sex life was dictated by the pack and he knew it affected her as well. However, none of this was normal Kagome behavior. He knew she had a few drinks, but nothing that would make her be drunk or anything like that. It was something else. Could it still be Ayame?

"There's even more people now than usually." Instead of being one pack they were two.

Kagome led her hands slid beneath his shirt, finally caressing the warm skin with her palms. "I don't care," she replied despite her loud heartbeat. Because she did care.

He arched an eyebrow. Kagome always cared.

She grazed her blunt teeth against the flesh of his throat, dragging them all the way down to his collarbone. She could not leave marks like a youkai and she certainly could never mark him like he did. Would that be something he would miss? Something that he would want? Then again, would he not have taken a mate way before if he had missed that? He could have always had Ayame and he never took her. There had to be a reason for that.

"Kagome," he said, his voice harsher. Although it cost him everything, he grabbed her shoulders and slightly pushed her away from his body. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. I just -" What, what could she say that to that? She really wanted to fuck his brains out with Ayame downstairs? She really wanted to confirm that she was crazy and that nothing was going on? Oh god, she was shameful, shameful. She completely pulled away from his hold and buried her face in her hands. She could feel the tears of shame rising to her eyes and she could not let him see that.

She turned away from him and then she walked to the bed. It only left her with one choice; she threw herself onto the bed and hide away into the pillows. She was hoping he would stay away and that he might leave the room but she knew better. He was Kouga and he would not walk away from her. She felt the shift in the bed as he joined her and all she could was try to merge with the bed. Unfortunately for her, it did not work. She felt his warm hand on her hip and he gently squeezed, probably trying to comfort her.

"Talk to me?" He was almost begging.

He felt like he might have screwed up big times and he did not know how to fix it. He really did want to fix it though. Whatever it was that was making her cry, he would make it stop. He had made her cry once and he had hated himself for it. He never wanted to be the reason behind her sadness; he wanted to be the reason behind her smile. Maybe he should not have turned her down? But then again, he was not turning her down. He had simply been concerned. Kagome did not act irrationally and he knew how uncomfortable she was to be intimate while everyone was in the house. Her fear could not have gone away that quickly.

"I'm an idiot," she said against the pillow.

If it weren't for his excellent hearing, he would not have heard her. "Ya ain't an idiot."

"I am."

"What's wrong?" This time his tone was more serious, more demanding. He would not sit there while she insulted herself.

She sighed, finally giving up. How long would she be able to hide this from him anyway? She turned around, dry tears staining her cheeks. The one thing she was unable to do was meet his gaze. "Was Ayame one of the girls?"

"What?"

"Was Ayame one of the girls you hooked up with?"

He blinked once. Then twice. "Me and Ayame?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Then why does she touch you so much?"

Why what? He had not noticed. Then again, packs tended to be close and he was used to the familiarity. He had known Ayame for a long time. Perhaps they were things she did that he got used to - and he never paid attention to again. But he had asked her about Ayame… and she had lied? He felt like bringing it up but then again, it did not feel like the right time to do so; she was already a mess. "I- we're just friends Kagome. I didn't notice she was…"

And she was the biggest idiot on the planet. "Sorry."

He tilted his head to the side, frustration rising inside of him. He was not frustrated with her - he was frustrated with himself. He let a situation get out of control and now she was like this because of him. He did not want her to hurt. "Kagome, I'm the one who's sorry."

"No, you don't have anything to be sorry about. It's me, I'm being stupid."

"No, I wouldn't like it if some guy had his hands all over you." He would probably rip his throat out and then eat his heart or something. The simple thought of someone else's hands on her body made his blood boil. "I - we've been friends for so long, it's just something I got used to. I won't let her do it again." He really, never, ever thought of it as something harmful, or something that could hurt her. It became part of the background for him. He was such a fucking idiot.

Kagome sat up on the bed and then reached out for his hand. "Sorry I dragged you away. And sorry about the beer."

He chuckled. "It's fine, although the guys are probably wondering when we're gonna start getting busy."

That got a laugh out of her.

He took advantage of the distraction to grab her chin with his thumb and finger. He forced her to look at him and then he tried to smile. "I want you to tell me when something is bothering you."

She should. There was no reason to not trust him. "I - I didn't want to feel like this."

"It doesn't matter, you oughta tell me."

She nodded.

"Kagome, I don't care about anyone else."

He scooted over closer to her and used his grip on her chin to plant a kiss on her lips. "Kagome, I love you. Not her, not anybody else." He would not make Ginta's mistake; he would not bring up the mark. Although, that in itself meant something as well. But they were not there yet.

"I know."

He lowered his mouth and began kissing her neck. He made sure to avoid the spot with the mark but that did not stop him from devouring her neck. He let his tongue roam over her skin, tasting her, and enjoying the fact that his scent was on her skin. Anyone with youkai blood could easily tell that she was his and it filled him with pride. As he kept on kissing her neck, she slowly molded against him. He let go of her chin and opted for an arm around her waist. That changed in position allowed him to lay her down on the bed. Almost immediately her legs spread open and offered him the opportunity to nestle himself between them. An opportunity that he took.

Her legs lifted and she wrapped them around his waist, pushing him even closer to her. She had been jealous; she had wanted to show her claim on him by bringing him upstairs and having him fuck her senseless. He would be lying if he said it was not a pleasing thought. He knew he was always two steps ahead of her - but the fact that she was catching up… it was pleasing. She was afraid of losing him. She wanted him to stay by her side. She was willing to do something that made her completely uncomfortable, if it meant keeping him by her side. He never wanted her to have to do anything like that, but the fact that she was willing to do it…

Feelings swell in his chest, and he let his mouth travel to every inch of skin that was available to him. He lapped at her neck, her lips, her collarbone. He even let his hands travel to her breasts. He did not want to make her comfortable but he wanted to feel all of her. She tasted like heaven and honey had mixed together and he could not believe his luck. He ended up burying his nose in her hair and inhaling her scent. At this point she giggled, his warm breath tickling her.

The part that they were both missing was the fact that they were dry humping each other.

They got in a few times - barely any. And after her display of possessiveness, he did not mind helping her prove to everyone that she was his and he was hers.

"Everyone's here," he breathed against her ear. He needed to remind her of that.

"I know," she whispered.

She knew and yet that did not help with the fire that was burning in the pit of her stomach. She had feared losing him and now she wanted to lose herself in him. She was well aware that there was no way of doing this without alerting everyone. But then, if she knew all that, why was her heart beating so fast. His hands were like silk, brushing up against her skin and leaving trails of promises she knew he could fulfill. Would doing this really lessen her worries? It was stupid. Then again, was it really about her silly jealousy, or was it about telling him and showing him everything she kept locked inside.

She had lost so much and she was so afraid to lose more than she already had.

And if there was someone she wanted in her life, it was him.

A simple girl showed up and she was willing to do anything to keep him by her side. She already knew the feelings she had for him, but this made her see how much they had amplified over the last few months. She felt more for him than she ever had before.

His hand found its way to her breast, gently brushing over her covered nipple. He wanted the real thing, he wanted her naked, soft and plump breast in the palm of his hand and he could not. The temptation was killing him. He tore himself away from her neck and meant her gaze. There was something new shining in her eyes and he did not know what it was. She stared at him with her moist lips parted as though she was waiting for him to give her an answer. But an answer to what?

"I- I love you." Her words were quiet, as though she had hoped he would not hear them but he had.

His heart stopped for a moment and a panic filled him. His brain was scrambling for a reason behind her sudden sharing and he was scared that it had something to do with Ayame and he did not want it to have anything to do with Ayame. He wanted this whole moment to be only about them and nothing more. He had said it to her and it had almost broken their moment. He did not want her declaration to have the same kind of repercussions. Also, he was tryign to figure out if his ears had deceived him. He knew she felt a lot for him but knowing and actually hearing it were two very different things.

"Kagome, you don't have to say it."

Was that a stupid thing to say? It probably was.

"I want to," she whispered out. "I - I thought I might lose you. I considered for a second that she might be better for you. I thought maybe she could do this whole mating thing because - because she would actually understand it and she knows everything it means and I don't."

"I'm not asking you to mate me Kagome."

"I know, but it's not fair to you. That's what your people do and - I" And until now, she had never even told him that she loved him.

"And it doesn't matter. You're not youkai and I'm not expecting you to be, just like you don't expect me to be human." She always accepted every part of him. Actually, she even gave him shit when he doubted that he was enough for her because of his youkai nature. She was perfect and he'd give up anything for her.

"It matters to me because it matters to you," she replied, her voice shaking and breaking under her emotions. She was overwhelmed, her heart racing and her blood pumping through her like she was racing through time. She never thought she would say it out loud to anybody. Before finding Kouga again, she thought she was all alone - forever. But he understood her. "I thought I could lose you and it scared me. And I acted like an idiot and -"

Oh god why did he have to look at her like that.

"And I love you." This time, her voice shook a little less.

Kouga could finally let himself truly enjoy the moment as her words spread a warmth through him. He was already happy that she was jealous and now she was saying the words he had accidentally said to her too soon. He would never leave her and he would never love anyone like he loved her. He knew her feelings for him were sincere but this confirmed it. This erased all doubts he might have had.

He did the only thing he could think of; he kissed her.

His mouth completely captured hers and he poured his feelings behind even ministrations. He tasted her, he sucked on her lips and he made sure she felt the fire burning inside of him. And she did, because it lite the same fire inside of her. Her mind was dizzy from need; she needed him. She had felt shame and fear and now, she wanted to find the safety that only he could provide her with - and she could not have it. Every time she wanted to forget about all the people that surrounded them she could not.

And he could feel her distraction.

"They're too loud to forget huh?"

"A little."

He rested his forehead on top of hers before pressing a kiss to her nose. "I mean, we could be really quiet."

"Again, have you met me?"

He chuckled.

"Plus, being quiet won't help with the noisey youkai nose."

She had a point there. Although there was always the shower. They did have a great time in that shower - their first time. Or - well, that would probably warn the guys that something was going on and she probably could not handle all that teasing in front of a pack that she did not even know.

"There are other things…" he finally suggested.

"Other things?" What other things could they possibly do that she could do in silence? It was not as though she meant to be loud… honestly it was mostly his fault rather than hers.

"I can do a lot of things with my mouth."

She had to shiver at his words. He promised things that he could not deliver at the moment and that was the worst form of teasing. "Nothing that I can keep quiet while you do it…"

"So maybe they hear a little."

She playfully smacked his arm. "I don't think so."

"Why not, I mean you love me."

There it was the teasing she had been expecting.

And it was okay. Now he could talk about it and he could make fun of it. Because he said it and she had finally said it back. A weight had been lifted off both their chests. Also, for the first time, she was not as scared. She might not understand all that came with being a youkai, but it was starting to make more sense. The mark was not something that she could give him and it might never be something she could fully understand.

But she could love him.

And he loved her.

It had to be all that mattered.

Right?