The time that Marinette spent waiting for Alya to come back felt like an eternity. She never left Adrien's side. She wished that Tikki could have stayed with her, to keep her some company. She needed the little kwami's encouraging words more than ever. Then again, Marinette would have to get used to being by herself since she planned to give up her Miraculous.

She sat and played with Adrien's hair while she listened to the Césaire household get ready for the day. Alya's siblings were extremely loud, and they all seemed to have one common need: the bathroom. She listened as they all got up and headed off to school. Alya's mom eventually left as well. Now it was quiet.

The quiet atmosphere gave Marinette time to think, which may not necessarily be a good thing. She had been doing too much thinking lately. Pretty much everything that went through her mind circled back on how selfish and despicable she was. Even she was tired of it.

At one point, Adrien started to shift a little bit. She looked down at him. His face was contorted with pain, and a grimace crossed his still handsome features. He let out a whimper and he tried to roll over, but stopped short when the pain jolted through him. He awoke with a start.

"Adrien?" Marinette said. "Are you okay?"

"Mari," he murmured. He scooted a bit closer to her, cuddling up against her side and clinging to her like she would disappear. Then he fell back asleep. It made Marinette feel even more guilty. She was responsible for everything he had to go through. All my fault, was her silent mantra that she repeated over and over again.

The wait also provided Marinette with time to let the realization that Adrien Agreste was Chat Noir sink in. It had come as a shock, but she had been so concerned with saving his life that she was running off of instinct and adrenaline, and only now did her brain start to operate properly again. Adrien Agreste is Chat Noir.

It made so much sense! The smug, satisfied smirk Adrien had on his face whenever he did something well. The sincere and kind smile that Chat flashed Ladybug. The enjoyment of life and mischief that sparkled in Adrien's eyes when he was hanging out with Nino or doing something purely for fun (which was very rare). The sad, serious look Chat let his face fall into when he thought Ladybug wasn't looking. How Chat never, ever, mentioned anything about his home life.

Not to mention that they had the same green eyes, blonde hair, height, build, and features. Adrien was never around when Chat was. Chat always conveniently showing up just as Adrien disappeared. A smile almost graced Marinette's lip when she thought about the few times that Adrien had pretended to be 'taking a shower' so she wouldn't find out his secret identity.

Why hadn't she let him see who she was? Why was she so afraid of seeing who he was? Marinette could say that she was protecting her friends and family. That would be the heroic answer. But no, in reality she had been afraid. She had been selfish yet again. She was scared that he wouldn't like her civilian self.

Deep down, she knew that Chat Noir really had loved her. But she had ignored it. She had down-played it because she was in love with Adrien. Adrien was what she wanted. Goodness, she was so unbelievably selfish.

How could she have done this for two years? She saw the hurt in her partner's eyes every time she rejected him. She saw the way he was starved for attention, any kind of affection. The way his face fell when she left him. The way he hungrily stared at every happy family that the duo passed on their patrols.

He deserved the best in life. And he didn't get it. He tried so hard to please everybody, and to be nice to everybody, even Chloe! He worked himself to the bone to please his father, who didn't give him a second thought. And patrols and akuma attacks on top of that?

The sound of the downstairs door opening and closing snapped Marinette out of her thoughts. She knew it was Alya coming up the stairs because she had long since memorized the pattern of Alya's footsteps, swift and business like with a spring in her step. The red haired reporter burst through the door.

"I'm back!" she called, clearly glad that since her family was gone she no longer had to stay quiet. Marinette looked up.

"Hey," she greeted. Tikki flew out of Alya's bag, immediately followed by a little black blur.

"Marinette, this is Plagg. Plagg, Marinette. You two never officially met," Tikki introduced them. Plagg glanced at Marinette, disgust crossing his little cat face.

"Pleased to meet you," the sarcasm in Plagg's voice was so unbelievably obvious. Tikki glared at Plagg and opened her mouth, but Plagg cut her off. "How is he?" The cat kwami flew down and nuzzled Adrien's cheek before plopping down on the boy's chest and curling up.

"I don't know," Marinette admitted. "He woke up for a half a second, but it wasn't like he was really awake."

"Wake him up again," Plagg demanded. "I need to transform him."

"Well if he's asleep, maybe we shouldn't….." Marinette's voice trailed off. Plagg looked up, shooting daggers at her with his yellow-green eyes.

"I like how you pick right now to start caring," he said with disgust. Tikki was taken aback.

"Plagg, this is no time to be rude!" the ladybug kwami scolded him. Plagg rolled his eyes.

"At least I'm actually trying to help Adrien!"

"She did everything she could!"

"You know what else she could have done? Showed up at least three days earlier and gotten him out of Hawkmoth's Lair." The two kwami's glared at each other. Alya watched in the background, ignoring the urge to pull out her camera and videotape all of this. Marinette felt the tears start to well up in her eyes again, but she bit her lip.

"Plagg, I'm really sorry-" she started to apologize. Plagg cut her off.

"Sorry doesn't cut it!" he growled. "Now wake the kid up so I can transform him and help him heal!"

"Plagg I didn't want him to get hurt! I never meant for him to get hurt! You know how much I've always cared about Chat Noir!" Marinette insisted.

"Which is why you yelled at him and then assumed that he had kidnapped someone out of jealously and then HURT them really badly? If you really thought that much of Chat, then why was it so easy for you to doubt his honesty and kindness?"

"I know what I did was unforgivable-" Marinette tried again.

"Then don't ask me to forgive you," Plagg said, cutting her off again. He flew back over to Adrien and tugged on the boy's blonde hair. Then he started licking Adrien's cheek.

"Plaaaaagg, stoppit," Adrien slurred as he opened his eyes and blinked. Daylight streaming in from Alya's window filled his vision. Whiteness. That room. Hawkmoth. The knife. "NO!"

Adrien bolted upright, twisting in a violent manner to try and get away. He cried out as his wrist made contact with something hard and his pain shot through his body. He had to get out of here! His breath came in short gasps as he tried to remind himself to breath.

"Adrien? Adrien, you're safe! It's okay!" he heard a voice call. Marinette's face filled his vision. Marinette. Ladybug. Not Hawkmoth. Safe. Adrien slowly let his muscles relax and his rapid breathing slow.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"It's okay," Marinette reassured him. Suddenly, black completely blocked his vision as something soft crashed into his face.

"Adriiiieeeeen!"

Adrien laughed a bit, which sent him into a fit of coughing. Once he could breathe again he said, "Hey Plagg."

"You need to transform so I can help you heal!" Plagg told him before licking the end of Adrien's nose.

"Are you sure you're up for it?" Adrien reached up with his non-broken arm and pulled Plagg away from his face. Rough cat tongue on his face wasn't always fun. He rubbed the kwami's belly with his fingers.

"I'm sure. The reporter girl brought me to Master Fu, and he restored my energy!"

"My name is Alya!" a voice from the corner protested.

"Okay, if you're really sure," Adrien relented. Plagg nodded seriously.

"I'm sure. I'll just need to come back out of your ring every five hours or so, provided you don't use your cataclysm, for a break and some cheese. And it better be Camembert!" Plagg glared at Marinette, who nodded hastily. Tikki sighed.

"Okay then. Plagg, claws out!" Adrien said softly. Plagg disappeared into his ring. Green light flashed throughout the room as Adrien transformed. It died down and Marinette and Alya uncovered their eyes to see Chat Noir.

Seeing Adrien back in costume jolted Marinette a bit. She knew he was going to transform, and she knew that he would look like Chat always did, but seeing it still made it seem just so real. It also made her heart hurt more. Her kitty cat.

"Can I have some water?" Chat asked.

"I thought cats liked milk," Alya teased him. Chat rolled his eyes.

"Actually most cats are lactose intolerant. Giving them milk would be cat-astrophic," Chat grinned weakly.

"Um, I'll go get you that water," Marinette excused herself. She hurriedly left the room, heading downstairs to the kitchen. How could he joke around so lightly, as if he didn't have a care in the world? She, as Ladybug, had often joked with Chat that nothing would stop his sense of humor. She could hear the pain in his voice though. She could see the wince in his movement. The hurt in his eyes.

The panic attack he had when he had first woken up concerned her. Would he be able to get over what happened very quickly? She hoped that was a one-time, unsure-of-where-I-am thing. She didn't want him to worry. She didn't want him to have to doubt his safety ever again.

"Marinette, you're over-reacting," Tikki told her as she pulled a glass out of a cabinet. "He's clearly willing to forgive you. I don't think the boy is capable of holding a grudge against you."

"I know…." Marinette replied softly as she held the glass underneath the tap. She watched the water fall, slowly filling up the glass. She sighed. "I guess sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself."

############################################################################################################################################################

He was running. Panting, dodging things that appeared out of nowhere in front of him. He bolted down an alleyway. A wall appeared in front of him and he skidded to a halt. He looked up. Marinette stood on top of the building, looking down at him. "M'lady, help!"

Chat Noir turned to face the oncoming enemy. Hawkmoth strode confidently forward, a grin on his face. Chat was cornered. There was no escape for this enemy that had eluded him for the past two years. Finally, Hawkmoth's time for victory had arrived!

"Ladybug, please!" Chat pleaded, looking back up at Marinette.

Marinette stood on top of the rooftop, watching Hawkmoth approach her partner. She nodded firmly, and shouted, "Tikki, spots on!"

Nothing happened.

"T-Tikki, spots on!" she stammered again. Still nothing. No pink flash of light. No magical transformation. Nothing. Marinette's hands flew to her earrings. Her fingertips brushed her ears. They weren't there! Why weren't they there?

"Ladybug, any time now would be great!" Chat's panicked yell snatched her from her panic. Hawkmoth was twenty feet away from him.

"I….I can't!" she called to him in desperation. Fear flashed across his face.

"What?" he called back in disbelief.

"I can't," Marinette whispered. "My earrings…they're gone!"

"Of course they're gone!" a voice snapped from behind her. Marinette whipped around to see a little black cat kwami hovering a few feet away. "You gave them up! Now Chloe Bourgeois is the new Ladybug!"

Marinette gasped. What? She hadn't remembered giving them up. And wait a second; Plagg couldn't be up here if he was in Adrien's ring. She turned back and looked over the edge of the roof in confusion.

"Marinette!" The way Chat called her name broke her heart. Hawkmoth was ten feet away. He pulled a knife out of his suit. The blade glinted in the moonlight.

"But….but I can't help him!" Marinette said, panicked. "I don't have my yoyo, my powers, anything!"

"Bingo," Plagg said lazily, tossing a piece of cheese into his mouth. Marinette turned to face the kwami, absolutely furious.

"He's your miraculous wielder! Don't you care what happens to him?"

Plagg shrugged. "Chat Noir always ends up dying in the line of duty. Every single one of them. Normally, it'd be to protect Ladybug though. This is a somewhat refreshing change."

"Refreshing? REFRESHING?!"

"Look, I'm used to it. Bad luck follows me everywhere. There's no stopping it. Just don't get attached and focus on cheese. That's the way to live," Plagg commented. Marinette felt the tears spilling down her cheeks, but she was too angry to brush them away.

"How could you be so heartless?"

"Heartless? I think you're the only heartless one here, Princess," Plagg said, glaring at her. The nickname was bitter on his tongue. Marinette was appalled.

"How could you say such a thing? At least I'm trying to help!"

"Oh really? Because you know what you could do? You could jump off of this roof onto or in front of Hawkmoth. You'd probably break both legs, most of your ribs, maybe even fracture your skull," Plagg shot back. "But that would distract Hawkmoth and give Chat enough time to get away."

Marinette looked back over the edge of the rooftop. Hawkmoth was nearly on top of Chat. His face showed desperation and unimaginable fear. He looked up at her. "Marinette, Ladybug, I love you!"

"You could save him," Plagg sung behind her. "You could sacrifice yourself and save him. After all, isn't sacrificial love the best kind?"

Marinette looked back down. "But…"

"But you're too selfish. You only care about yourself, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Nothing will ever change that. He's about to die. You have approximately five seconds to make your decision."

"But I-"

"Five."

"I can't just-"

"Four."

"I have to-"

"Three."

"It's not that simple!"

"You've got two seconds, princess. Better make up your mind fast!"

Marinette took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm sorry Chat. I can't." And then she turned and walked away across the rooftop. Down in the alleyway below, Chat's scream pierced the air and echoed through the night.